This meme is sooo old retro, hopefully you can't even remember reading and doing it yourself anymore. And please, if you're one of those elephant-memory types, just PRETEND that you can't remember it anymore, okay?

I actually can't believe that ANYONE would want to know ANYTHING about me, let alone tag me on a meme, but whaddayaknow, apparently there is someone, because I have indeed been tagged! (So direct all of your hate mail to aforementioned domain name @..! Naah, I'm just kidding. I can't remember whether his domain is even a part of his e-mail address.) Oh, but just to be clear, he tagged me long before this meme became retro. But since you've never known me to do something in a timely fashion, I couldn't suddenly change my ways and become... gasp... DEADLINE-driven, now could I?

So here goes then with the retro-meme:

Three screen names I've had: I'm the type who forgets passwords and screen names, so I've only had a couple and they all contain "red," for obvious reasons.

Three things you like about yourself: I like to read, and I guess that's never a bad thing. Geez, I'm boring!!! So let's spice it up a bit. Besides, he didn't say that I wasn't allowed to embellish a "bit!" So here goes: I'm super athletic with a killer body. No, really, the doctor said that the likes of me run the risk of getting all types of killer diseases. Oh, and let's not forget that I'm a spitting image of Nicole Kidman. This fact is even more obvious if you're completely blind and/or very imaginative. Seriously, this would've been easier if you had asked me three things I don't like about myself!

Three things I don't like about myself: Oh. Oops. Careful what one wishes for! Okay. My inability to tan (I just glance at the sun through tinted windows and I freckle!), my lack of any useful skills, my procrastination.

Three parts of my heritage: Third generation redhead, South African, and by the looks of me, I'm sure there was some Viking interference in my bloodline generations ago!

Three things that scare me: Being stranded in a place where coffee isn't readily available around the clock, serial killers, and rodents.

Three of your everyday essentials: Coffee, how-to books and nowadays, streaming South African television on Kuduclub.com

Three things you are wearing right now: Jeans, tee, and perfume.

Three of my favorite songs: Oh, man! Just three? That's almost worse than asking me to pick fave books! Fine. I'll give the answer that will make me sound cultured and oh-so-refined. La Vie Boheme (the cast of Rent), Rachmaninov's 3rd Concerto (aren't I just SOOOO sophisticated?), and Dave Brubeck's Take Five! always makes me happy.

Things I want in a relationship: Love, laughter and every once in a while, some space.

Two truths and a lie (in no particular order): Oh, my. This question sounds somewhat familiar! I have one deformed toe on each foot. I've starred in a music video. I've been to Madagascar.

Three things I can't do without: Once again, can think of many things I WOULD be able to do without, but unfortunately, that's not the question... Okay, I know there's the obvious, like oxygen, a heartbeat, etc., so I'll say: My family. This would come as a surprise to them, I think, because I've lived so far away from them for the past nine years. Books. Dogs. Well, obviously I don't NEED dogs for survival, and I don't even have one right now, but I have to have a dog "fix" every once in a while. I just love dogs. They make me soo happy.

Three places you want to go on vacation: South Africa, Morocco, Tibet.

Three things you just can't do: Mathematics. Give up on this insane quest for a Green Card. Gymnastics.

Things you want to do before you die: Get this stupid Green Card process over with, travel EVERYWHERE, write and publish at LEAST one novel.

Three celeb crushes: Irish writer Roddy Doyle, Jon Stewart, and then Ewan McGregor and Craig Ferguson are tied for third place.

Three people you want to know these things about: Since I have exactly three readers (I KNEW it was bound to come in handy one of these days!), all of you. (That is, of course, in the event that you haven't already done it.)