Redsaid

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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August 01, 2007

Re(d)vision

Alphabet Soup

Whoa... no update in July.

That is scandalous, even for me, the World's Laziest Blogger.

The blog has been on my mind a lot. I've had every intention of writing posts in glorious prose... but no matter how hard I thought about it, no such posts appeared.

I ask you, why couldn't my pure intent lead to amazing blog content?

Of course, the upside of leaving the blog dormant for weeks at a time is that now I actually have some things to tell you. As opposed to before, when I just made stuff up.

Okay, so I don't really have THAT much to tell you (I'm still me - unfortunately - and even though I haven't been blogging, that doesn't mean I haven't been tethered to my bed or my computer for most of my time), but in the following days, you will hear - in no particular order - about how I made wine (I did!), how I was taken to a concert by another blogger (I was!), how my past is haunting me on (and off) facebook, how I went to a big birthday bash in Cape Town and met a million more people to add to facebook, how I've been propositioned by a man (I was! And yes, he is alive... but he is also very married!!!! So no, don't even gasp because I SO didn't and won't EVER do that. I know full well what it's like to be cheated on, courtesy of my former long-term American boy and his female co-worker. Feel free to insert a number of creative and yet very insulting adjectives here, because I can't even be bothered. I'm getting my therapy regarding that vicariously through acid-penned-when-it-comes-to-descriptions-of-her-sleazy-loser-scumbag-ex, Guardian columnist Liz Jones. Therefore I shall never even consider a relationship with someone who is already committed (be it by law or by his word) to someone else. Whether that word or law means anything to him or not. And for that matter, which is why I shall never again consider committing myself to someone who isn't canine.)

Where were we?

So what would you like to hear about first?

Redsaid | 07:47 PM

Comments

Well, start with the concert... though I can't wait to read all the other entries of events having been given the Red treatment in the blog... this will be totally new news to me....

comment by Deeleea at 01:16 AM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

i'm actually interested in the nanny-saga part III. just kidding (well, not really but...) - actually the past haunting you on and off facebook sounds interesting... :)

comment by kim at 10:27 AM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

Definitely the Facebook thing because I am currently suffering the same death!

Look me up :-)

comment by Amy at 03:14 PM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

Well first things first, Red... you are awesome! Nobody who reads your blog thinks any different. You use your humour much like I do, but the truth is you have so many readers that think you are a wonderful writer, person, and friend.

Write what you want to write about, when you want to write it... We'll always be here to read it.

comment by miked at 04:47 PM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

Facebook

is BLOCKED!!! :'(

Now how come i was not invited to said bash!!!! hmm!!!

*hug*

comment by SilverSabre at 05:49 PM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

Dormant blogs are sexy. :D

comment by Kathy at 08:49 PM on 08.02.07 [ link ]

Dee-darling: Sorry chicka! Looks like the concert has been out-voted by... of all things... facebook! (Are there any MORE ways that evil, evil networking site can take over our lives?!?)

Kim: Oy, the nanny saga... Actually, I DO need to finish that, before the Nanny Diaries movie comes out and everyone thinks I've ripped it off. And those girls who wrote the book claimed it was fiction... yeah, right! Us former au pairs know better, don't we? facebook it shall be, then.

Amy: You as well!?!? I'll definitely look you up. Hey, we might as well be in it together as facebook completely take over our lives, yeah?

Mike, you angel: Your cheque's in the mail!! I love your fianceé, because she is clearly making you see the world (including my lil' ol'e blog) through rose-tinted glasses!!!

Hey ho, Silver: I can't believe your company has blocked you guys from facebook as well... Poor sweetie. Are you having withdrawal symptoms yet? BTW, the birthday party happened way before I met you.

Kathy: Hey Hot Mama! Yes, you're right. Dormant blogs ARE sexy, because that means it's not sullied by my scribblings. But of course, it also helps if the blog in question was designed by smokin' chicks with loads of moxie! AND who are almost P*u*b*l*i*s*h*e*d A*u*t*h*o*r*s too, no less!

comment by redsaid at 12:02 AM on 08.03.07 [ link ]