Airline check-in guy: "Did anyone else pack your belongings?"

Sister and I: "No."

Airport guy: "Do you have any explosives in your luggage?" (Although I have to say I was worried about my sister's potent hairspray, because I'm rather sure it's manufactured in Benoni. However, I wasn't going to tell Airline guy that.)

Sister and I: "No."

Airport guy: "Do you have anything sharp on you?"

Me: "No... well, except (and at this Airline guy looks a little startled, and then almost gleeful and I can see his arm visibly twitching to press some sort of panic button under the counter)... for my wit."

Sister: "And my tongue."

Luckily Airline guy had a sense of humour, otherwise we probably would have been promptly thrown in prison for life without formalities like court hearings.

P.S. No, I haven't been anywhere. This incident happened more than a year ago at Cape Town International Airport. My sister and I were on our way to Johannesburg to attend our dad's birthday party. So this is just the normal timely journalism that you've come to expect from me, you demanding beasts!

P.P.S. Today is my personal web goddess Emily's birthday. Go wish her, I beseech you!

Last night I had the WORST nightmare.

No, it wasn't my usual "falling" dream where I have that roller-coaster feel on the pit of my stomach as I'm falling through space, and then I jolt awake just as I'm supposed to hit the ground... or in my case, the sharp rocks I am hurtling towards.

Analyse THAT!

Or don't.

Anyway, this nightmare also didn't contain monsters, bogeymen or ghosts.

It was worse. MUCH worse.

I was out in a shopping mall in the States, and I ran into my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend.

Apart from the fact that the witch was blonde (of course! Grrr...), I don't remember any exact details.

Except... and this is the truly nightmarish part...

Because I'm blogging from my phone!

This is remarkable - not because I'm doing this from the depths of darkest Africa (although I have to tell you, I never did anything this futuristic in the States, except for that one time when I attended a Sci-fi convention in search of other illegal aliens), but because this is technologically challenged ME we're talking about! Me, the girl who can hardly send or receive e-mails without unleashing a thousand viruses and irretrievably corrupting the hard drive.

Yes, of course it's taking a little bit longer composing my daily magnum opus from a telephone keypad, which is prob y i've sudd been ovrcom by the desire 2 type like this & 2 tell u that u r all gr8! & that i'll c u l8er! & that i'll brb & i'm lol cos i think i'm so cool.

Updated from my laptop to say: Wow, it is expensive to be so cool! So it's probably much wiser that I remain uncool. It's either being tragically hip (now I know why they call it 'tragically' hip, because being hip plunges one into the murky, slum-smelling depths of poverty) or giving up coffee, and well, you all KNOW that there is NO WAY that I'm going to give up my caffeine!

... If you'd please vote for me!

Amazingly enough, the entertainment and gossip blog I've been writing for since last year has been nominated for a 2007 South African Blog Award!!! (Yes, I know... there's absolutely no accounting for taste. Luckily for me!)

The competition is as stiff as this woman's husband (and you thought I was macabre?!? At least my first love was only comatose, not dead! Do you think she refers to him as her 'deadbeat' husband? And does this make her a newly wed-ow? Well, at least he won't snore, right? He might hog the remote when rigor mortis sets in though, so I'd advise her to pry it from his hands as soon as possible!), so we really need your votes. I believe today and tomorrow are the final days of voting - of COURSE I had to procrastinate asking you guys for help - so please hop on over to this site, scroll down to the Best Entertainment Blog Category and go give Jetstreaker a vote? Only one vote per e-mail and pc, so vote from as many different pcs... I'm KIDDING!

Anyway, if you DON'T vote for me, I'll be fired.

Okay, not really, but while you are voting, you might as well vote for my boss too. Accomplished creature that he is, he has been nominated in several different categories!

Thank you in advance, and if we win, I promise to reward you by not writing on here for a while.